Tamara’s Opus by Joshua Bennett
*asterisks indicate hand-signed lines Tamara has never listened to hip hop. Never danced to the rhythm of raindrops or fallen asleep to a chorus of chirping crickets. She has been Deaf for as long as I’ve been alive. And ever since the day I first turned five my father has said: “Joshua. Nothing is wrong with Tamara. **God just makes some people different.**” And at that moment those nine letters felt like hammers swung gracefully by unholy hands to shatter my stained glass innocence into shards that can never be pieced back together or do anything more than sever the ties between my sister and I. I waited, was patient numberless years anticipating the second her ears would open like lotuses and allow my sunlight senses to seep into her insides make her remember all of those conversations we must have had in heaven back when God handpicked us to be sibling souls centuries ago. I still remember her 20th birthday. Readily recall my awe-struck 11 year old eyes as I watched Deaf men and women of all ages dance in unison to the vibration of speakers booming so loud that I imagined angels chastising us for disturbing their worship with such beautiful blasphemy. Until you have seen **a Deaf girl dance, you know nothing of passion.** There was a barricade between us that I never took the time to destroy never even for a moment thought to look up the sign for **sister**, for **family**, for **goodbye. I will see you again someday.** remember the face of your little brother. It is only now I see that I was never willing to put in the extra effort to love her properly. So as the only person in my family who is not fluent in sign language I’ve decided to take this time to apologize. Tamara **I am sorry for my silence.** For true love knows no frequency, and so I will use these hands to speak volumes that can never be contained within the boundaries of sound waves I will shout at the top of my fingertips until digits dance and relay these mental messages directly to your soul. I know that there is no poem that can make up for all the time we have lost so please, if you can, **just listen.** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVvzw7d11Q8 Opus: “any artistic work, especially one on a large scale”. Joshua Bennett’s opus on his sister details his progression of understanding his older sister being deaf and his exploration into life experiences for deaf people. An important aspect of this poem is that Bennett includes several hand signs in his spoken performance of his poem. As a younger brother, Bennett describes his initial understanding of his sister through his father’s explanation: “God just makes some people different”. From this explanation, he describes the shattering of his innocence as he realizes he will always see him and his sister as “different”. The emotion of this part of the poem is significant because it builds the arc of the story he is telling. Bennett will proceed to relate his current relation to his sister, but his description of himself as a child is telling to the ignorance he held on the matter before he grew up. This change in his character delivers the moral of the poem to the reader and builds a strong emotion of familial love and understanding that a reader can relate to. Indicated by the asterisks, Bennett speaks while signing certain lines of the poem. The hand signs appear during lines Bennett wants to emphasize. Since the poem is a declaration to his sister about the barrier between them, he signs “I am sorry for my silence”, “family”, and “goodbye. I will see you again someday”. His use of the ASL hand signs shows important character development, as he goes from confusion to attempts at communication. By the end of the poem Bennett comes to the realization of what he has learned in life. He has an apology for his sister, which is signed, because he now knows that a language barrier cannot keep them apart, “For true love knows no frequency”. The message I find in the poem is that we can always change our views on what we think we know. Our interpretation of our world and what is “different” may come as a new realization later in life. Through Bennett’s poem, a connection and new-found appreciation of deaf culture is seen as he urges us all to “just listen”.
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January 2017
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